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Posts Tagged ‘kids’

** WARNING GRAPHIC LANGUAGE ***

I haven’t written in a while, but the recent flurry of outrage about Miley Cyrus and the VMAs has gotten me worked up.

I watched the whole thing.  Like a bad car accident, but I couldn’t look away.  But I was confused.  Why was everyone so mad?  Didn’t they see Miley’s video?  It was pretty much identical to her stage performance.  What I don’t understand is why no one said a word about Robin Thicke (aside from his beetle juice inspired costume).

What. is. wrong. with. us????

Robin Thicke has an entire song being the hit of the summer which was basically about rape.  About how no really means yes.  With lines like “I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two”.

And yet I saw a mom the other day dancing away with her young daughter to it.

Marriage?  Who needs that?  Not Robin Thicke: “You don’t need no papers Hey, hey, hey\= That man is not your maker”.  He just needs to have sex with you.  That’s all ladies.  And it is okay to be used that way, because he is humming a great tune.

I mean at one point Robin had someone else he was having sex with (“Yeah, I had a bitch, but she ain’t bad as you”), but it is a higher calling to be the “dirtier” girl.  And after you “didn’t pick” Robin, he can take you anyways: “Do it like it hurt, like it hurt What you don’t like work? Baby can you breathe?”

Until of course you will give in because no really means yes, right?

And then the world is up in arms because Miley Cyrus personifies Robin Thicke’s line:  “But you’re an animal, baby it’s in your nature”.   We don’t want our girls to SEE someone acting like that, only to HEAR that doing this, acting like this, and letting men treat you like this is not only okay, but wonderful.

We pay money to have a man tell you it is good to have to give up any sort of purity when a he comes along.  Even if he pressures you and has to drag it out of you.

My fight to raise my girls as good, well rounded people is more difficult every single day that someone feels it is okay to market this type of music.

But they don’t care.  After all, it’s a catchy tune, right?

For a great conversation about Miley’s performance, I appreciated this post as well from another blogger: http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/08/26/offensive-absurd-and-pornographic-on-mtv-you-say-i-cant-believe-it/

Please pray for me and my family as I will pray for you always.

Catholic Momma

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I will start with the small stuff first…

Last week, I went back to work. Full time.  Wow.  What an adjustment.  I am so blessed in that I get to work a job that is perfect for me in terms of my spirituality and personal growth.  I work for the Archdiocese of my area.  I am surrounded by smart, funny, and extremely interesting people.  People that challenge me, have great conversations, and make me laugh.  If one has to go back to work, I pretty much have the ideal situation.

Who is watching my kids? (you may ask)…  Well, after some research, and having experience with my older children being in a dayhome, I decided on a small daycare local to my small town.  Was a tough process, but that is a blog for another day.

As for my announcement….

DRUM ROLL……

Catholic-Dad and I were talking and we decided that HE is going to start a blog too!  What does this mean for you?  Funny posts on the same subject (we are alternating weeks choosing blog assignments), more consistent posting (our goal to start is once a week), and all the hilarity of my marriage brought into it too.  My normal, random posts will continue, but this is going to be just… well…  It’s going to be mind-blowing awesome.

He will have the domain of http://www.catholic-dad.com (although I am sure he will expand to more web presence as I have).

Hold onto your pants people, this is going to be awesome!

Praying for all of you always, please always pray for me!

 

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I beat myself up every. single. day.  I constantly am belittling myself about the state of my home.  The idea of company just showing up makes me want to gouge my eyes out.  I actually cried once because my sister in law showed up unannounced and my house was a disaster.  That is the truth of the matter.  I spent a good 5 or so years just feeling hopeless.  But I started to make changes. I have (little by little) started fixing things. Days like today when you get lots done (floors, back hall, laundry, dishes), sometimes make days where you only have 15 minutes seem like so little. I can’t get anything done in 15 minutes, so why bother??  I have to remind myself:  Don’t let the good days make the others bad.

Some practical changes I made: I made a list of 20 chores that I can do in under 30 seconds and I keep it in my kitchen inside a cupboard I actually use lots. Right on the door. On the opposite door, I made a breakdown of my home chores, and how long each takes (ie. bathroom-20 minutes). So when I have the 15, I can look, find one, and do it.

Then I did the declutter slowly. I started with boxes. One by one each day for a month Chad and I went through boxes in our basement. One box, collect one bag of garbage, and one bag of goodwill. It is shocking how much you can get rid of! This was our “couple” chore, and we did it every single day. Even if the dishes had to wait, this chore was priority for a month.

Next I started weekly projects. This week, I cleaned off on top of my fridge. I have been putting it off forever, and it literally only took me 15 minutes. Some projects are repeated (like fridge/closets) some were a one time organize (pantry)

I never give myself more than one project a week so that I don’t get overwhelmed.

Now we have a household rule about items:  if it doesn’t have a home, it goes out.  That ALONE has made things easier.

If I am watching TV, I try to do one chore during commercials (ie. grab a safeway bag, run around and pick up garbage in the room I am in)

My house is still messy, but I can see order to my chaos now :) I can clean faster, and I don’t have those pesky guilt chores hanging over my head.

The last thing I had to learn is that that you CAN NOT let yourself give up on you. Period. I cry sometimes because I have 4 kids under eight, hubby works out of town sometimes, I run my business, and now I am going back to work. I feel like a failure because my friggin living room is a mess. What is wrong with me?? I don’t know. But what I DO know tonight is that the top of my fridge is clean.

And for today, that is good.

 

(Here is my 30 second list by the way)

1. Empty the bathroom garbages

2. Dust the TV top and screen

3. Clean a mirror

4. Wipe down the front of the stove and fridge

5. Change the towels in the kitchen or bathrooms

6. Dust the fireplace

7. Dust the ceiling fan

8. Wipe down the trash can.

9. Toss junk mail, old magazines, paper crap on counter

10. Wipe down a countertop

11. Wipe the extras – Light switches, door knobs, remotes, coffee tables

12. Throw everything that is outdated out from the fridge

13. Sweep the front entrance.

14. Grab cans/bottles and throw into blue bag

15. Bring dishes from around the house to the kitchen.

16. Clear a clutter catching area

17. Wash a window

18. Clear computer desk

19. Empty garbage

20. Throw laundry of one room into basket

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Well.  The time has come.  I have decided to start blogging.

I figured my first post should probably be a bit about me.  I am a Catholic mom of 4 girls (8,6,2,1), have two female chihuahuas, and one male husband.  I am a photographer.  I volunteer as often and as much as I can.   I love sarcasm.  I hate Caillou (and yet my two year old loves it, go figure).  I enjoy a drink or two, and have struggled with smoking (or more precisely, not smoking) for years.   I am working hard, doing the best I can, trying to be holy, to raise kids that love God (and know how to put that into action), and to love my husband of ten years (no matter how many hours he spends on the computer).  I have traveled to Italy, kissed boo boos, and graduated from university with a degree in psychology (not in that order).

I think I am going to try to pick a topic a day to share thoughts on.   Today’s topic: Kids.

Recently I was out with a group of ladies that I am casual acquaintances with.  They were all discussing their ways that they are avoiding kids.  Most think I am crazy for using NFP.  They point to the fact that I have four kids as an example of my “failure” (not even considering that I could have *gasp* planned to have this many, and maybe more).  It’s crazy to me because when I really, really am honest with myself, a lot of my belief in NFP started from the fact that I wanted to be obedient to the Church.  I have this crazy notion that the institution that has been around for thousands of years with the greatest theologians to possibly have walked the earth may possibly understand the “big picture” more than me.  This is a hard teaching for me.  I feel like I am inundated every single day with reasons why I should get “fixed”, or have hubby “fixed”  (although he is not broken).  Why I should be on the pill, or using SOMETHING to prevent another baby.  It is hard because I am so secular, and so weak sometimes.  Sometimes I wish I did plan out everything “my” way and have the cars and vacations.

I like the idea of a planned out life.  Kids bring chaos.  I struggle with that.  Lots of prayer happens in my life around this topic alone.  I can’t tell you how many times I have found kids painting walls with their poop, or my poor dogs being ridden like horses.  Two years ago, we decided to announce to the kids that we were going to be spending the Next New Year’s eve in Mexico (I was somehow going to make money work), two months later, we let them know they get a new sibling instead.  My second youngest has a flair for getting in the most trouble as possible in the least time as possible.  We built our home 5 years ago, and now have fingerprints, Sharpie, dents, and crayon art almost everywhere.  I can’t stay organized to save my life.  This is the sort of thing I find in my fridge constantly (in case you can’t figure it out, one of my kids decided that they would bite out the side of a cucumber, then changes their mind):

And yes, that is also 3 bottles of Parmesan cheese.  I happen to have light, regular, and an extra one that I bought because I thought we were out.  On a separate note, in the back there is the first jar of cheese whiz that I have ever purchased. Bought it two days ago b/c it was on sale cheap. I am not even sure what to use it for, but it was a great sale..

I spend a lot of time in prayer asking for strength and humility and perseverance.  I am so happy that we have a God that is who He is.  I wish I could say that I am a strong, awesome Catholic,  but I am really just a normal mom, trying to live my faith the best that I can in a world that thinks I am crazy for it.  I love my kids more than sunshine, I love my husband, and I am so grateful that so often my prayers are answered when it comes to these things.

(oh, by the way, the kids turned out to be more happy with their sister than any trip to Mexico after all.)   🙂

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