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Posts Tagged ‘communication’

mathI find the hardest part of my week very often is when I sit down to help my daughter with her math.  She is so very stubborn, and loses patience with herself very quickly.  It is so hard to talk to her, or maintain a sense of peace when each question ends with pencils being thrown or books being slammed shut.

I KNOW she understands this.  I see her do it.  But even when she does it correctly, she looks up at me and tells me she doesn’t get it.

How much like my faith life is this struggle.

I KNOW what I am called to do.  I do it as faithfully as I can.  But some days I just look up at God and cry “I don’t get it!”.

And God does the same thing I do with my little ten year old.  He assures me that I, in fact, DO get it.  That I am doing what is right and good.  That I just need to continue to work on it until it becomes so natural that I can do it without thinking.

My faith requires work.  It is not a “sit back and let God love me” kind of faith.  I feel like I am very truly called to work towards sharing love, growing in love, and accepting love.  All of these things come with effort from me.  With forming my mind and my actions around what I know to be good and true.  Even if I don’t understand, one day I will.  One day I will be grateful that God, with his everlasting patience and mercy, took the time to redirect me towards him and remind me that I do understand, and even if I don’t do it right, He will love me anyways and help me to “get it”.

Please pray for me as I pray for you often.

Catholic Momma

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** WARNING GRAPHIC LANGUAGE ***

I haven’t written in a while, but the recent flurry of outrage about Miley Cyrus and the VMAs has gotten me worked up.

I watched the whole thing.  Like a bad car accident, but I couldn’t look away.  But I was confused.  Why was everyone so mad?  Didn’t they see Miley’s video?  It was pretty much identical to her stage performance.  What I don’t understand is why no one said a word about Robin Thicke (aside from his beetle juice inspired costume).

What. is. wrong. with. us????

Robin Thicke has an entire song being the hit of the summer which was basically about rape.  About how no really means yes.  With lines like “I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two”.

And yet I saw a mom the other day dancing away with her young daughter to it.

Marriage?  Who needs that?  Not Robin Thicke: “You don’t need no papers Hey, hey, hey\= That man is not your maker”.  He just needs to have sex with you.  That’s all ladies.  And it is okay to be used that way, because he is humming a great tune.

I mean at one point Robin had someone else he was having sex with (“Yeah, I had a bitch, but she ain’t bad as you”), but it is a higher calling to be the “dirtier” girl.  And after you “didn’t pick” Robin, he can take you anyways: “Do it like it hurt, like it hurt What you don’t like work? Baby can you breathe?”

Until of course you will give in because no really means yes, right?

And then the world is up in arms because Miley Cyrus personifies Robin Thicke’s line:  “But you’re an animal, baby it’s in your nature”.   We don’t want our girls to SEE someone acting like that, only to HEAR that doing this, acting like this, and letting men treat you like this is not only okay, but wonderful.

We pay money to have a man tell you it is good to have to give up any sort of purity when a he comes along.  Even if he pressures you and has to drag it out of you.

My fight to raise my girls as good, well rounded people is more difficult every single day that someone feels it is okay to market this type of music.

But they don’t care.  After all, it’s a catchy tune, right?

For a great conversation about Miley’s performance, I appreciated this post as well from another blogger: http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/08/26/offensive-absurd-and-pornographic-on-mtv-you-say-i-cant-believe-it/

Please pray for me and my family as I will pray for you always.

Catholic Momma

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Having a family of four is a strange thing. My friends with bigger families scoff when I refer to my family as large, and smaller families are shocked that I have so many. The most interesting part of my family (I think) is that I never thought I would ever have or want a big family. I was never particularly maternal. I never had the ‘clock’ ticking. Each child came naturally from a gentle nudge when it was time. I thought at one I was done, then I thought I could never handle more than two. As three and four came, I just realized my cup didn’t empty, it just got bigger. My girls bring me so much joy. My marriage has been strengthened so much by our roles changing and developing together. I think I have had the graces to become a better person throughout this journey.

One of the funny things are some of the things I constantly hear. People just seem to have the same standard responses. Normally they are:
“Are you done now?” – Not sure. For today I am, but I have had my heart changed in the past, so who knows…
“All girls?!?! Are you trying for a boy?” – Nope, I like girls. In fact, I had a priest once tell me he would pray that God blesses me with a boy and that he become a priest. Thank goodness that prayer hasn’t been answered yet. I don’t understand boys at all. Although my nephews are freaking fantastic!
“You must be busy!” – Nope. (I say as I flop down to fold ten loads of laundry while on the phone sorting volunteering hours, changing a diaper, kissing a boo boo, and cooking dinner)
“Your poor husband!” – Don’t even get me started on this one
“Better you than me” – I am never quite sure how to respond to this… ‘yes, I MUST be soooo much better at this than you??’ (which is ironic since I spend half the time trying to figure it out)

I am not thinking about joining the quiverfull movement anytime soon (www.quiverfull.com) I don’t quite fit the 2.5 children box.  I am just me.  Learning each day how to be a better wife and mom.  Learning that I can grow and that I can forgive myself when I screw up.  Learning that I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to love with all I have.

And because I love lists, I will end with this:

Things I would love my children to learn from being in our “big” family:

1. Love multiplies as numbers increase.
2. Extra kids mean extra opportunities to give.
3. Fighting is impossible to avoid, but easy to end.
4. ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ are not only for guests.
5. Even mom and dad have to say I am sorry when they are wrong.
6. Easter and Christmas are about Christ, not candy.
7. What we DO is far more important than what we have.
8. We sometimes have to choose to love someone. If we rely only on our emotions, we are not going to make it very far in life.
9. Doing things to help others is not an option, it’s a requirement.
10. Big things can be done when one person starts small.
11. Ikea tables are made too small for real dinners.
12. A messy house is okay sometimes.
13. People are ALWAYS more important than things.
14. Being kind is contagious.
15. Our lives are an example to each other and the people around us.
16. Birthday cakes come in extra extra large.
18. It’s important to tell people what you need. Nobody is able to read your mind.
19. Sometimes people just need a hug. Always be ready to give one, and be grateful in accepting one.
20. Family is the absolute, number one, without a doubt, most precious gift you have ever been given.

Pray for me and my family as we pray for you always.

Catholic Momma

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I will start with the small stuff first…

Last week, I went back to work. Full time.  Wow.  What an adjustment.  I am so blessed in that I get to work a job that is perfect for me in terms of my spirituality and personal growth.  I work for the Archdiocese of my area.  I am surrounded by smart, funny, and extremely interesting people.  People that challenge me, have great conversations, and make me laugh.  If one has to go back to work, I pretty much have the ideal situation.

Who is watching my kids? (you may ask)…  Well, after some research, and having experience with my older children being in a dayhome, I decided on a small daycare local to my small town.  Was a tough process, but that is a blog for another day.

As for my announcement….

DRUM ROLL……

Catholic-Dad and I were talking and we decided that HE is going to start a blog too!  What does this mean for you?  Funny posts on the same subject (we are alternating weeks choosing blog assignments), more consistent posting (our goal to start is once a week), and all the hilarity of my marriage brought into it too.  My normal, random posts will continue, but this is going to be just… well…  It’s going to be mind-blowing awesome.

He will have the domain of http://www.catholic-dad.com (although I am sure he will expand to more web presence as I have).

Hold onto your pants people, this is going to be awesome!

Praying for all of you always, please always pray for me!

 

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So I am sitting here tonight in my mess enjoying the quiet.  I made the biggest batch of chili I have ever made that is being doled out to the homeless tomorrow, so my house smells great tonight.

But that has nothing to do with glitterbombs.

A few days ago my two year old managed to find a brand new container of glitter make up and dump it in my master bathroom.

Do you have any idea about how much square footage one of those tiny containers can cover???  It is all over my clothes, my husband’s work shirts, my jacuzzi, my sink.   Shocking really.  So my master plan was to cover it in a towel, warn my husband, and figure out how to deal with it later (procrastination ALWAYS solves problems like this, right?).  The result?

Well, my six year old got to have a bath in my tub yesterday.  So, she got out, grabbed what she thought was a clean towel (from the floor??  Who would think a towel on the floor is clean???), and wrapped it around herself.  Glitter successfully transferred to my child and in a lovely sparkling path down the hall, down my stairs, and into my living room, where I appropriately freaked out, and sent her back up to shower.  Which she did.  In her bathroom.

So now I have glitter in 2 bathrooms, a hallway, a bedroom, my living room, all over my laundry room, and in my husbands clothes.  And just to add to the awesomeness of the experience, I washed the towel (thinking that might help) and his work shirt only to find he had left a pack of gum which I didn’t detect in his pocket.

So, lesson of the night:  If a bomb explodes, clean it up immediately, and thoroughly.   Covering it up and pretending it is not there only increases the mess and makes for a bigger problem later.  I suppose this is a life lesson that can work in relationships too.

And check pockets for gum.  Every time.

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