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Posts Tagged ‘christ’

mathI find the hardest part of my week very often is when I sit down to help my daughter with her math.  She is so very stubborn, and loses patience with herself very quickly.  It is so hard to talk to her, or maintain a sense of peace when each question ends with pencils being thrown or books being slammed shut.

I KNOW she understands this.  I see her do it.  But even when she does it correctly, she looks up at me and tells me she doesn’t get it.

How much like my faith life is this struggle.

I KNOW what I am called to do.  I do it as faithfully as I can.  But some days I just look up at God and cry “I don’t get it!”.

And God does the same thing I do with my little ten year old.  He assures me that I, in fact, DO get it.  That I am doing what is right and good.  That I just need to continue to work on it until it becomes so natural that I can do it without thinking.

My faith requires work.  It is not a “sit back and let God love me” kind of faith.  I feel like I am very truly called to work towards sharing love, growing in love, and accepting love.  All of these things come with effort from me.  With forming my mind and my actions around what I know to be good and true.  Even if I don’t understand, one day I will.  One day I will be grateful that God, with his everlasting patience and mercy, took the time to redirect me towards him and remind me that I do understand, and even if I don’t do it right, He will love me anyways and help me to “get it”.

Please pray for me as I pray for you often.

Catholic Momma

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motherSo, a while back I was feeling really disconnected from my faith.  I felt like I just didn’t feel the same intensity that I used to.  I went into a sincere state of searching.  It was about this time that the new book “Come be my Light” came out.  I thought maybe I had some sort of connection, that there was some way perhaps she experienced something similar.

I was completely humbled when I read it.

My struggle with faith was not like hers, but hers became a great inspiration to me.  While I struggled with getting my butt to Church, Mother Teresa experienced the complete and utter void of God in her life.  What I did, and what she did were vastly different.

I chose to stay home sometimes.  I chose to be lazy.  I chose to challenge God to come to me.  I had decided it was His job to make me holy.  I had completely missed the whole understanding of who he wanted me to be.

Mother Teresa chose faithfulness.  When she had lost what felt like God’s presence, she continued to be committed to the vows she made.  She spent more time in prayer.  She sought out more ways to be holy.  She didn’t turn away, rather, she ran to Him.  She gave all that she had to show her love.  She was faithful in all the small things.

I learned so much from her.  I learned how to reform my heart.  I learned to choose actions based on what is right, not on what ‘feels’ right.  I was humbled by my arrogance.  It was like someone had shone a bright light into my soul and I was able to grasp what I was being called to do, and what I was choosing to do.  I learned that my faith was far more than a feeling.  I had always known that on some level, but I truly understood it after reading about her struggles.  I learned that I was the one responsible for my relationship with Christ.  That I needed to step forward, to turn my life to Him.  He has always been there, he will always be there.  When He feels distant, it is more likely that I am distancing myself from Him, and not the other way around.

I am so grateful I bought that book.

I am so grateful I have learned to love better and more fully.

I am so grateful for my faith and my relationship with Christ.

Please pray for me as I pray for you always.

Catholic Momma

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Newtown

How can one talk about such an event?  How  can one even breathe?  How can we put one foot in front of another and move forward?

I have no words, only prayers of desperation, crying out to our merciful Christ.

Mother Mary, pray for us.

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