Posts Tagged ‘choice’

motherSo, a while back I was feeling really disconnected from my faith.  I felt like I just didn’t feel the same intensity that I used to.  I went into a sincere state of searching.  It was about this time that the new book “Come be my Light” came out.  I thought maybe I had some sort of connection, that there was some way perhaps she experienced something similar.

I was completely humbled when I read it.

My struggle with faith was not like hers, but hers became a great inspiration to me.  While I struggled with getting my butt to Church, Mother Teresa experienced the complete and utter void of God in her life.  What I did, and what she did were vastly different.

I chose to stay home sometimes.  I chose to be lazy.  I chose to challenge God to come to me.  I had decided it was His job to make me holy.  I had completely missed the whole understanding of who he wanted me to be.

Mother Teresa chose faithfulness.  When she had lost what felt like God’s presence, she continued to be committed to the vows she made.  She spent more time in prayer.  She sought out more ways to be holy.  She didn’t turn away, rather, she ran to Him.  She gave all that she had to show her love.  She was faithful in all the small things.

I learned so much from her.  I learned how to reform my heart.  I learned to choose actions based on what is right, not on what ‘feels’ right.  I was humbled by my arrogance.  It was like someone had shone a bright light into my soul and I was able to grasp what I was being called to do, and what I was choosing to do.  I learned that my faith was far more than a feeling.  I had always known that on some level, but I truly understood it after reading about her struggles.  I learned that I was the one responsible for my relationship with Christ.  That I needed to step forward, to turn my life to Him.  He has always been there, he will always be there.  When He feels distant, it is more likely that I am distancing myself from Him, and not the other way around.

I am so grateful I bought that book.

I am so grateful I have learned to love better and more fully.

I am so grateful for my faith and my relationship with Christ.

Please pray for me as I pray for you always.

Catholic Momma

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